Messages

76

Way of the Game / Re: Episode 29 - The Best of 2009

« on: July 01, 2010, 10:15:29 AM »

You forgot an important part: Gundam Meets Macross Meets Star Trek.

77

Way of the Game / Re: Episode 29 - The Best of 2009

« on: July 01, 2010, 07:42:08 AM »

Alex, I'm curious to hear what you think of Star Ocean, once you've gotten into it a bit.  That game is the reason I finally broke down and scrounged together the cash to buy a 360, and was one of the few exclusives that didn't disappointed me.  ... Until it came out on PS3 a while later, with extra features, and I wanted to strangle somebody.  Grargh.  Out of curiosity have you played any of the other games in the series?

78

Way of the Game / Your Top Ten X

« on: June 20, 2010, 08:25:28 AM »

Because top ten favorites is kind of boring, and I think it'd be far more interesting to see what people consider worth making a top ten about, here we are.  Make a video game top ten.  Not favorite games, there's a threat for that, but some other top ten.  Top Ten Character Themes?  Top ten JRPGs?  Top Ten reasons Zelda games are awesome?  Whatever floats your boat.

Top Ten Massively Overated Games

10. Chrono Trigger

• Look.  Chrono Trigger is a good game.  Even a great one.  But the degree of fanaticism this game gets is downright ridiculous. 
• The characters aren't that well developed.
• The combat has a lot of rough edges.
• The story is kind of weak, and at a lot of points it just gets downright annoying. 

Relax, take a breath.  It's not that great.   Besides, they picked the wrong lead character.  It should totally have been Frog.

9. The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time

• Okay, let's just get something out here:  This is a good, solid game.  It's not one of the best video games ever made.  It's not the best Zelda game ever made.  It's ... probably the best early N64 game, but really, the only competition you have there is Mario and Starfox. 
• Twilight Princess plays better, and has a better story.
• Wind Waker looks and better, has a better story, and a stronger feel (dear lord, that game's beautiful.  If only it wasn't so dull..).
• Majora's Mask Feels better, plays better, has a better story, but seriously, fuck those dungeons.  Too few, too lame. 
• Really, the only big thing OOT has over the other 3D Zeldas, it has the best dungeons.  But then you go back to the SNES, and Link to the Past Kicks it square in the balls, so... yeah.  Good?  Yes. 

OMFGSOAWESOME!!!1  ... No.  Just no.

8. Metal Gear Solid

• Oh, MGS.  Where did you go wrong?  Let me count the ways.
• The Gameplay was terrible.  Couldn't aim worth a crap, couldn't move well, hiding was spotty, bosses were more annoying than challenging, the stupid heat-sensitive keycard, blegh.
• The Story is kiiiinda stupid.  The whole Enfant Terrible thing is ridiculous in a bad way, Decoy Octopus was just .... wow.  Really?  That's the best you could do?  Psycho Mantis, Sniper Wolf:  Look, just shut up and die already.  You were really cool ... until now.  Now you just piss me off. 
• The Genome soldiers go right back to the stupid cloning story, but deserve extra special mention because of how the gameplay and story fail to reflect each other:  These guys are the shittiest clones of a badass ever.  They're half-blind, nearly deaf, patently retarded.  Ugh.
• Shut the FUCK up, Otacon.  Right goddamn now.
• You too, Liquid.

7. Castlevania: Symphony of the Night

• How about it's easy as fuck?  When you can start a game with massively reduced stats, and punch your way through unarmed and unarmored except for weapons that reduce your damage, without the slightest difficulty or level grinding, something is seriously fucking wrong.  And good lord, if you do actually use your equipment...
• Alucard is annoying.  There's really nothing else to list here.  He's just annoying.  And he looks ridiculous. 
• If you don't have challenge or variety of gameplay, you need a worthwihle story to keep things interesting.  C:SotN ... doesn't.  The good part of the story ends when Richter says "Enough Talk, Have at you!"  Hell, the story pretty much ends right there entirely.

6. Final Fantasy VI. This game is one of two that is most frenquently held up as a pinnacle of the Final Fantasy series, and even of JRPGs in general.  What a load of crock.  The first half of the game is great.  Well plotted, well paced, full of interesting characters (and Gau) doing interesting things.  Sabin Suplexes a Train.  It's all good.  And then the world blows up.

• All that great pacing, and plot, from the first half of the game?  Gone.
• All the interesting characters doing interesting things?  Done.
• You know that point at the end of most JRPGs where the game says "Last boss is over there, go find sidequests or finish the game!"  That's half the goddamn game.  Everything is like a sidequest, and frequently not very good ones.
• Gau.  He exists.  Done.
• The Very Definitely Final Dungeon is just plain irritating.  The boss fight at the end ... well, that's awesome as fuck.  But getting there sucks.

5. Fallout 3 This is gonna be a quick one. 

• I'm addictive when it comes to games.  When I start them, I play them obsessively.  I barely sleep.  I barely feel like I need sleep.  I need reminding to eat.  Not so with Fallout 3.  I fell asleep roughly once an hour playing Fallout 3.  It really started to screw up my sleeping habits.  Fallout 3 was actually bad for my health.  This is not a joke or exaggeration.

4. Bioshock: Okay.  When compiling this list, I made a conscious choice to try to consider the FPSes I've played off-limits, because the camera ruins them for me.  But I couldn't leave Bioshock off.  I picked the game up, despite my dislike of FPSes, because I heard it had a great story, immersive setting, and interesting gameplay elements.  I'll focus specifically on those.

• The story is Dull, trite, predictable, and has a shitty ending. 
• Atlas was an irritating tool.  Within half an hour, I found myself shouting at him "Would you kindly shut your goddamn mouth, you stupid Mick?" 
• [spoiler]I called Fontaine as the villain (and that he was Atlas) pretty much the first time he was brought up.[/spoiler]
• [spoiler]Andrew Ryan was a colossal disappointment, and a prime example of climactic encounters done wrong.  Pretty quickly, I was wanting to beat his face in personally just for annoying me.[/spoiler]
• The setting.  It's underwater, it's 'creepy.'  Yippee Skippy.  I've never seen someone try to do a 'creepy' setting where everything used to be nice, then went to shit, before. [/sarcasm]  Honestly, this was the most disappointing part.  A good setting would have made the story more interesting, and made me overlook the gameplay's mediocrity while I just wandered around exploring and enjoying that as an end unto itself.  But this one was not good.  Generic messed up people in a wrecked city just isn't all that interesting.
• Oh look, Audio diaries.  That'll make things more atmosphering.  Yeah, sure.  If you think this is atmospheric, you'll probably love Doom 3.  It does the same thing, only very slightly better!
• So, where are these 'interesting gameplay elements' I was led to believe were in the game?  You run, you gun.  You shoot things with magic.  Or you beat things to death with wrenches, if you're looking for a giggle.  Yawn.
• The hacking was fun though.  I love Pipe Dreams.
• So, I was led to believe there were interesting moral choices to make.  Turns out, You can KILL THE UGLY LITTLE MONSTER GIRLS AND HARVEST THEIR ADAM, YOU HORRIBLE MONSTER! or you can Save the ugly little monster girls by turning them into even uglier non-monster girls (am I the only one who found them way creepier looking after being 'saved'?).  And if you eat one, you're a monster and you get the bad ending.  If you don't eat any, you get the good ending, and better rewards overall.  ... So really, there's no moral choice.  There's "Do you want better rewards and a good ending, or worse rewards and the superior evil ending?"  Weak.

3. Xenogears: Well, this'll be short. 

• I spent about twenty hours playing the game, waiting for it to get to the good part.  I'd heard for years how great the game was, how great the story was, how great the gameplay was, this was just an awesome game until the second disk...  Yeah, bullshit.  It was boring, it was stupid, the characters were uninteresting.  If I can't find something likeable in a game after 20 hours, I'm not playing any more.  Honestly, I normally wouldn't even go that long, but I'd heard so much about how great it got that I just had to see for myself.

2. Mass Effect: 

• The combat system sucked. It plays like a terrible Third Person Shooter, instead of the terrible RPG it actually is.
• The Mako Sucked.
• If you're not Garrus or Wrex, you're not interesting at all.
• If you're Kaiden or Liara, you're irritating as fuck.
• The levelling was underwhelming.
• The story wasn't strong enough to grab me before the other issues drove me away.
• FUCK THE GODDAMN MAKO RIGHT UP THE EXHAUST PIPE.

1. Final Fantasy VII. I'll do quick hits here, or I'll be all day on just this one.

• Cloud sucks.
• Yuffie Sucks.
• Sephiroth Sucks.
• Cait Sith Exists.
• Not enough of the Turks.
• Except for the backgrounds, the graphics, for their time, were terrible.
• Dull.  As.  Fuck.
• Aeris Sucks.
• Tifa's hot, but she's irritating.
• Needs more Barret.
• The Materia system sucks.  Makes the characters completely interchangeable in combat.  Sucks.
• Translation sucks.
• Retarded five year olds make up better plots.
• Still not enough Turks.
• Needs more Reno.

Well, there you go.  I've got the ball rolling, let's see someone else bust out a nice wall o' text.  What's your top ten X?

79

Way of the Game / Re: WotG Episode 26 - 360 > PS3 (sorta), and a whole buncha games

« on: June 19, 2010, 04:44:05 AM »

Windows Vista, with the browser everybody but me hates:  IE 8.

You know, the PSP Go could have been so easily fixed.  Just include the UMD drive too.  The other changes were actually kind of nice.  But why would anybody want to buy something that renders their old games useless?  And I'm in the grumpy old man camp of "I want my stuff in physical form, this download only stuff frightens, confuses, and angers me.  Rawr."  Old man at 25, and proud of it!

80

Way of the Game / Re: WotG Episode 26 - 360 > PS3 (sorta), and a whole buncha games

« on: June 18, 2010, 05:30:43 PM »

I reference Walmart when I talk about the PSP both because I worked there, and because it's a good indicator of mass market acceptance, which is something the PSP sorely lacks.

A.  I agree, it doesn't, which is a shame, it's a pretty great system.
B. Yeah, I realize you go with WalMart because you work there, but honestly, any place that still has Resident Evil 5 with a "Hot new Game!" sticker on its price tag, and doesn't stock many new, popular games (for the systems that actually sell well, not just PS3 or PSP) for a month or so, on a fairly regular basis, is not to be trusted.

I failed to mention the PSP Go last time, so I'll rectify that here:  All of the Sony executives who thought of, greenlit, or knew about but didn't attempt to stop the production of, this abomination, need to be lined up and smacked repeatedly across the face with dead fishes.

Not fresh ones, either.

PS:  I hate your forum.  The text box is all screwed up, and refuses to stay scrolled down.  It jumps back to the top after every letter I type, meaning I only get to see what I'm typing, while I'm typing, in little flickers.  Do you have any idea how hard it is to write a big ol' wall of text like that up there with that happening?

81

Way of the Game / Re: WotG Episode 26 - 360 > PS3 (sorta), and a whole buncha games

« on: June 18, 2010, 05:59:24 AM »

Whew.  I'd fallen behind on my podcasts for a while there.  I'll try to keep comments restricted to things from this episode, but no promises, I listened to the last two back to back, so they're sort of bleeding into one another in my head.  Here goes:

Hey, I don't quite call you guys fanboys.  I just thought it really, really loudly. GET OUT OF MY HEAD.

Re: Secondary functions of the PS3 vs. 360.  Wow.  I have exactly the opposite impression of them.  I really, really, really dislike how the 360 handles its secondary functions, to the point that I never use it for anything except actually gaming.  Also, the stupid thing forces me to have an avatar.  What the hell?  I don't want a avatar.  But I don't want one of the stupid ugly little default ones ... but I don't want to make one ... aarrghghblbl.  The only secondary function I can't really comment on is the Online Component, because Microsoft had the brilliant idea not to include WiFi on all the systems, and since XBox live has very little to offer me (emphasis on the me there.  I realize it has plenty to offer other people, but I'm not one of them), I just haven't bothered to spend the cash it would take to get a WiFi adapter or ethernet cables long enough to reach my router.

... Is putting in a disc to use the Netflix Instant viewing really such a pain?  Honestly?  I'd think you guys would have more problems with the 360 vs. PS3 then, since it has more multi-disc games.  ... I've never understood that complaint about games or in this case, netflix.  Unless you're crippled, I just can't imagine someone having so much of a problem with getting up to do something that it would turn them against it.  Note:  I'm not specifically referring to you guys, there, it's a common complaint I hear from the PS3 fanboys (and don't get me wrong, I hate them at least as much as 360 fanboys.  I hate fanboys, period.  That's why I'm in the 'get 'em all, enjoy 'em all' camp).

The PSP actually has quite a few games.  Wal-Mart just doesn't stock them.  Because I'm one of like six people buying them.  And we six don't generally get our games at Wal-Mart.  In fact, if youre into JRPGs, the PSP is the place to be right now.  Which is probably why it's failing pretty hard.  Non-nostalgic JRPGs seem to have fallen out of favor with the gaming culture of late.

I'm curious to hear more of your impressions about Demon's Souls.  I've gone back and forth on getting that for a while.  On the one hand, I like a challenge.  I'm one of those people that helped Ninja Gaiden become a success, and replays the shit out of things like Devil May Cry and Bayonetta to ge the stupid-hard difficulties (Jesus fuck, Hell or Hell is nuts, and I love it), but I've also heard that the actual gameplay is pretty bad, and part of the difficulty is bad controls.  Confirm or Deny?

Gamefly doesn't have any kind of social features?  Not even a friends list where you can see what your friends are playing or have it suggested to you?  Man, they're a shitty Netflix Rip-off.  Netflix has had that for years.  Just rip that off too, it's not like you're trying to hide the fact that, like true and proper Americans, you stole someone else's idea, and worked it into a different Niche where it could make you tons of money.  Steal more, and do it better!



Suggestion for PS3 games you really ought to check out, but might not be on the 'obvious buys' list:  Valkyria Chronicles.  Turn-based strategy with third person shooter and JRPG elements, a good story, appealing characters, and very pretty (not super-fancy super-realistic top-of-the-line grahpics, pretty) graphics.  Ratchet and Clank Future:  Tools of Destruction, Quest for Booty, and A crack in Time.  The Ratchet and Clank games in general are wonderful shooter/platformer hybrids.  Tools of Destruction is the reason I ended up picking up a PS3 ahead of the 360.  I basically had to choose between waiting to play it, or waiting to play Mass Effect.  After finally playing Mass Effect, I stand by my choice.  3D dot game heroes is something I recently picked up, and if you liked the 2D zelda games, you owe it to yourself to pick it up too.  It is an unabashed rip off.  To the point that it regularly references the first Zelda, just to remind you that yes, this is a Zelda game, no matter what they choose to call it.  The gameplay is a blast, the look is ... interesting (imagine, if you will, a 2D game, somewhere between 8bit and 16bit in vissuals, suddenly made 3D, pixels and all), and you can make your own character, which is cool in theory ... slightly tedious in practice, unless you're really into that.  But the stable of premades has some fun options, like a tank, a few dragons, Santa Claus, a ninja that travels underground, and only shows a breathing straw sticking out of the ground until he attacks ... it's ludicrous.  Oh, and the President of the United states, from Metal Wolf Chaos.   ... He's in a mech.  Yeah.

Most everything else is either on the obvious list, like MSG4 or Uncharted, or Multiplatform.  Note:  If you take an interest in Bayonetta, DON'T play that one on PS3, no matter what you do.  They screwed up the loading times something ridiculous.  If you've ever played Legacy of Kain: Blood Omen for the PS1, you'll have a general idea of what to expect form Bayonetta on PS3.  It's insane.

Brevity?  What's that?

82

Way of the Game / Re: WotG Episode 22 - Games As Art

« on: May 16, 2010, 04:05:25 PM »

Thinking back, I'm a little disappointed in you guys.  You brought up Shadow of the Colossus as one of the first great High Art games, if I'm remembering correctly, but you utterly failed to bring up ICO, its absolutely wonderful predecessor.  Where Colossus is mostly about loneliness and desperately doing whatever it takes to save the one you love, ICO really delves into forming a bond, and tugging at your protective instincts.  It's also just gorgeous, the castle you're in is really magnificent despite (and sometimes because of) its crumbling state.

83

Way of the Game / Re: This Just In, 5/12/10

« on: May 16, 2010, 06:23:04 AM »

Well, when you make a $200 game, you're clearly not aiming for a broad market.

Anyway, I wasn't here to try to defend Steel Battalion to one of the 99.97% of the population that couldn't give less of a shit about it, I was here to ... umm...

Shit, this has come a long way from "What the hell is Steam, anyway?"

84

Way of the Game / Re: This Just In, 5/12/10

« on: May 16, 2010, 05:56:37 AM »

Eh, I like difficulties all over the board, and it fits with the heavily simulationist feel (the game requires a two-joystick (one of which has a thumbstick on top), 40-button, three-pedal, six-switch + dial control console to play, FFS) ... so long as there is at least a little challenge.  I tried playing Bayonetta on one of the easy modes.  O.O  That's just stupidly easy.

85

Way of the Game / Re: This Just In, 5/12/10

« on: May 16, 2010, 05:04:08 AM »

Strap a couple of pieces of cardboard to the side of your head and walk around for a while.  See how you like having absolutely no peripheral vision.  Also, getting around with absolutely no concept of where your feet are is a bitch.  You can't see your environment as well, you can't see how you're interacting with the environment as well, you can't spot threats as well, it's just generally more annoying in hectic situations, and last off the top of my head (and certainly least, although I've seen it solved nicely), you're stuck staring straight at what you're trying to shoot, which makes retreating, taking cover, or engaging in running gunfights a bigger pain in the ass.

Generally the best solution I've seen is the Ratchet and Clank solution:  The camera is still focused where you're aiming, but it's pulled back a ways behind your character so that you get some decent peripheral vision, have a clear indication of where you are, what you're standing on, and how close you are to falling to your doom or stepping on something that might harm you, while giving next to no view behind you, leaving the opportunity for nasty surprises, as there should be.

The only game I've seen do first person well is Steel Battalion, a game that maybe three people besides me have played, because only I am insane enough to A) Spend $100 on an Xbox so I can play four games, and B) Spend $200 on a single video game, so I can essentially build a massive control console for a Mech Game.  ... But it's a badass game.  God damn, I love that game.  And I'd actually be pissed if it wasn't First person, because it would kill the Sim nature of the game.  Unlike other FPSes th ough, you could control your movement, the camera, and your aiming independently.  The weapons and Camera could be aimed anywhere 180 degrees in front of the mech, including completely opposite sides if you felt like it.  It made 'running' (the mechs were fairly slow) gunfights a lot more viable and fun, and put into a more fast-paced game, I would probably love it.  You also got a sub-screen that you could show various secondary views from, including a rear view or tracking locked-on targets.  Very fun, very cool.  Very brutal.  If your mech gets destroyed, and you don't hit the eject button in time?  Your game gets deleted, dude.  Dont' like the way a level is going and reset to avoid losing a mech?  Hahahaha, the game saves at the start of each mission assuming you'll fail.  You lose it anyway.

Hardcore, and fun.

86

Way of the Game / Re: This Just In, 5/12/10

« on: May 16, 2010, 04:22:41 AM »

You've mentioned the camera for both Portal and TF2, and I'm curious: those are both first-person shooters.  How can the camera be bad?

You've already answered your own question.

87

Way of the Game / Re: This Just In, 5/12/10

« on: May 15, 2010, 11:39:41 PM »

System wouldn't fix the terrible camera or painfully bad gameplay.  The only thing TF2 has going for it is the visuals.

88

Way of the Game / Re: This Just In, 5/12/10

« on: May 15, 2010, 07:12:59 PM »

As for the Orange Box, Half-Life 2 is a great single-player game, and Team Fortress 2 kicks all kinds of ass on PC, but I hear it's not so well supported on consoles.

I've rented it for PS3, and ... No.  There's one good game on there, and that's Portal, despite the terrible camera.  Half-Life 2 made me want to kick myself in the nuts for being stupid enough to play it, and TF2 was worse.  Ughghhh...

89

Way of the Game / Re: This Just In, 5/12/10

« on: May 15, 2010, 05:32:43 PM »

Hmm.  I've never actually bothered to hook my 360 up to the net, so I don't really know anything about Live, other than hearing that the people on it suck more than usual.  But from the sound of things, unless I can uninstall this thing after I've got my game, and still have the game work fine, I don't think I'll be bothering with it.  I'll probably just break down and buy the PS3 Orange box and just ignore the shitty games that come with Portal.

90

Way of the Game / Re: This Just In, 5/12/10

« on: May 15, 2010, 03:02:13 PM »

Okay, I've never had reason to bother checking this out until now:  What is steam, where do I get it, and can I just get rid of it after I've got my free game?  Is it one of those annoying things that worms in everywhere and never goes away, like some commercial "anti"-virus software I've dealt with?