• Here’s what the board looks like
• Stop the evil DIA horse!
• This is supposed to look like the Rocky Mountains
• Bangladesh is the primary producer of Jute which is used to make Nakshi Kantha tapestries. I had no idea, I was just making stuff up.

Light Brigade

Just your standard WW2 story where a group of U.S. infantry are recruited by the immortal Centurion Marcus Longinus to stop a fallen angel and his army of near immortal half-human offspring from igniting an archangels Wrathful Sword upon the ever-burning Cross of the Nazarene and using it to overthrow God. So you know, same old same old…

Plus its drawn by Snejbjerg who I’ve loved since way back when he was on Books of Magic. And here he gives Frank Quietly a run for the money in the ability to draw humans that have been shot to fuck and back…

But the main appeal here is the story again. Which is kind of Devil’s Brigade meets Zulu meets Demon Knight. So you know, its chock full of awesome and plenty of scenes where Nazi’s get shot…

When I woke up, I decided to blog about the 9 Rule Zeroes in an attempt to determine which should be the one, true Rule Zero! I’ll take them from worst to best:

#9 Never do anything that might help the GM

I learned this one playing Living Greyhawk (the 3.5 version of Living Forgotten Realms) from another player who I thankfully only played with one time (no, most “living” players aren’t at all like this; I don’t care what you heard!). I can’t imagine a worse Rule Zero �" it basically says, “Don’t play your character, don’t engage in the story, just stay in a tight formation until we get the XP and treasure.” While it was probably created in response to killer GMs, it just serves to reinforce that behavior as the only way for the GM to interact with the group is to throw more monsters at them!

While this is the most dysfunctional Rule Zero, it is fortunately rather rare, in my experience.

#8 The GM is always right

Sure…but only if you’re playing D&D…and you’re in Middle School. Really, adults don’t need this rule and they know better than to think that their friend running the game is right when they are clearly wrong. Better to say that the GM has the final call, but that’s not always the case these days. Group consensus or veto-with-seconds rules have proven just as effective at maintaining a fair and consistent fictional world. Overall, this one is a relic of the past.

#7 Never split the party

- Suggested by Eric from the Podge Cast

This is almost as bad as #9 in creating static, boring play. It may be tactically prudent, but if doesn’t fit the tone of the fiction (Star Wars characters always split up) or make sense for the character or their situation then how does it help the game? This is also a cause and effect of an infinite loop of Player-GM distrust – but this one is a lot more common than #9. And it’s intended to create peer pressure not to break ranks and play how you might want to play, which is pretty dysfunctional.

But then again…a lot of times…it’s right! A lot of table-top RPGs are balanced around a full party of characters taking on a threat. Facing the same threat with a split group might lead to quick character deaths �" even TPKs. Still, a good Rule Zero should be near-universally true and not primarily a D&D in-joke.

#6 Roll on the fucking table

- Suggested by David from the Backseat Producers

It really hacks me off when my fellow players can’t keep the dice on the table, want to count the dice that landed on a high number on the floor (but not when they’re low), roll them in a shoe box �" or a shoe, and a hundred other annoying things that human beings have found to do with their dice. Let’s all roll the dice on the table, where everyone can see them, and no funny business. Is that too much to ask?

But at the end of the day, this is trivial and more of a pet-peeve than universal directive. Just be aware of your groups’ expectations and try to play nice.

#5 Never touch another man’s dice (aka “The Herzog Rule”)

- Suggested by Tim White from Return to Northmoor

This one’s cool. It sounds like an Old West proverb and that makes it bad ass! Some people spend a lot of time and money on their dice, dice bags, dice towers, dice poppers �" I could go on. Of course we should respect other people’s property and sometimes geeks need to be more aware of personal boundaries and the rules of polite society.

But can we just grab the women’s dice all willy-nilly? Definitely a double-standard, but that’s the Old West for ya. What really kills this rule is that most players don’t take their dice so seriously and share them out no problem. It’s far from universal… but that feller in the wide-brimmed hat over in the corner will take your hand clean off if you touch his speckled D20!

#4 Don’t be *THAT* guy

- Suggested by Talulla

*THAT* guy is the one that becomes an example of what not to do at the table. It could be the guy who is never prepared, or takes far too long to play his turn, or wears shorts that expose…things. This one is very context based and is probably a better Rule Zero for life than for RPGs. We need to realize when we’re annoying other humans or just completely missing the boat and try to fix it where we can.

But it’s also rather judgmental. We were all *THAT* guy or *THAT* girl to someone at some point in time and most of us will be again. The heart of this one is to know your group and try to find a play style that you can enjoy that works with that group �" or maybe find a different group. None of us want to be *THAT* person but it’s not always worth conforming just to fit in.

#3 If the rules don’t work for your group, change them

Thanks to D&D 3E, this is the most common of the Rule Zeroes. So why doesn’t the game designer make better rules or explain their rules better? That’s usually the real problem that makes this rule necessary. I don’t think you would see this as a Rule Zero for board games or minis where the rules are expected to work and no one has time for broken or incoherent games. But for some reason roleplayers often give big problems with the rules a pass or they don’t bother to try to learn the rule and just play it “our way”. Maybe I’ve always been a rules lawyer at heart, be it traditional RPGs or Story Games, but this attitude always grates on me. Furthermore, it makes all our game tables little islands of incoherent house rules that are bound to frustrate new players if they travel from group to group.

So while I’m clearly not a big fan of this rule, I still rated it third place. That’s because the heart of this rule is that having fun together with the game should be more important than following the rules and certainly more important than arguing about the rules. And that certainly rings true.

#2 It’s a game, have fun

Yes, sometimes we need to be reminded. It’s easy to get wrapped up in personal politics, rules disagreements, disappointment over bad outcomes in the game, or even problems from home and work that we forgot to leave in their places. Don’t do that. Have fun with your friends and if the game isn’t fun do something else together.

Here comes the other hand again! Some games are cathartic or intense or disturbing. What do you mean by fun? I think those things are fun to experience, but this rule can be warped to mean, “I don’t want to go there and neither should you.” Fun doesn’t have to be goofy and light, but some people will always interpret it that way. And sometimes your funs won’t match, so this rule won’t always hold true.

#1 Don’t be a dick

- Attributed to Jesus Christ via Clyde from Theory from the Closet

This isn’t always the easiest Rule Zero to follow in every group, especially if you play with random people at a con and encounter someone that really presses your buttons. Try to remember that the game will end…eventually. But if you play with friends �" or at least people you want to be friends with �" you should definitely try your best to follow this one.

So is it universal? The only, very minor exception I can think of is if your character is supposed to be a dick, but then that should be understood and playing him or her as a dick doesn’t count as being a dick to your real-world fellow gamers. In fact they are meant to enjoy your character’s dick-ish behavior and will likely be disappointed if you don’t ‘bring it’ �" especially as the GM.

But is this a Rule Zero for gaming or for life? It can be real easy to forget this rule when you’re in the thick of the game, immersed in the fiction, and fighting for what you want. You should be playing RPGs with passion and that passion is what can blind us and why we need this as our Rule Zero Supreme.

And in real life? Well that guy that just cut me off deserves the middle finger! Does he have any idea how hard it is to Twitter and drive!?!

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Podcast Production by Walt Snider

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Kristen Dykes

The Stories:
Dog who ate beehive wins insurance award
Cocaine Given To Teller With Deposit
Bomb In My Belly Statement Leads To Traveler’s Arrest
Neighbors upset after man opens ‘homeless park’ on unbuildable lot
Calif. Court Hears Argument On Student Drug Tests
Walmart greeter turns 100

Music:
Dragonette – I Get Around
Stacie Rose – Hope

03:25 : The Power Source Podcast
09:10 : Houses of the Blooded
24:20 : XCrawl
34:30 : Apocalypse World

Shoutouts
Rob: TNA Hardcore Justice
Mike: Disciples III
Ryven: The Legend of Neil

  In which, Chris, Jonathan, and Mark Kinney contemplate marriage.

Sidescrollers

Some days you just want a story about three slackers and their quest to stop the douche football jock from scoring with the hot new girl. Also included: beat downs inflicted by girl scouts, scorpion shenanigans, video game jokes, cereal mascot mockery, ninja stealth mode and Ceiling Cat vs. Basement Cat. All at no extra cost…

There are two files being submitted for your consumption.
The first is the edited story only version. All of the table talk has been trimmed out and music has been added at the front and back of the track. This only contains the story told with Hell 4 Leather.
The second is the raw, uncut, unedited, version. Everything was left in, pauses, stammers, and even a couple contradictions. This file contains everything we said while playing Hell 4 Leather.

There is some information that was determined prior to play. This game was used as a prelude to a full campaign and as such some ground work was laid before hand. More details can be found on the Obsidian Portal page. After the break is the basic information the players were told prior to play.

What’s the gang’s name?: The Edge Runners
What is the name of the Commune that the gang protects?: Diamondhead
Aside from stealing power and dealing with Utopian transport trucks what else does the gang do?: They’re runners, traders, and distributors with no questions asked. The only exception they make is that anything coming into Diamondhead has to meet their approval.

The Characters

The Fool: Mathias
1) He wears the color Red as a symbol of his office as the gang enforcer
2) He carries a six-shooter with six bullets labeled by the six tarot cards
3) His family betrayed the gang and he became enforcer after he murdered his entire family to prove he wasn’t a traitor.
The Emperor: Rictor
1) Every visible inch of his body is covered in tattoos
2) His wife, Tasha, insists that he keeps of harem of women
3) He judges every-bodies worth by their last accomplishment
The Empress: Tasha
1) A product of the Slums with a knack for trade negotiation
2) She’s barren because of a botched abortion preformed by Big Ed
3) She considers the gang her family since she can’t have kids… Except for Big Ed
The Faith: Maggot
1) He’s a native of the of the Diamondhead
2) He always carries a box that he doesn’t let anyone see what’s inside
3) He has no sense of smell and is willing to dig though ANYTHING for scavenge or information
The High Priestess: Carolyn
1) She was the daughter of a Utopian big-wig who left the stagnation of Utopia
2) In the Wastes she got addicted to drugs
3) Her drug addiction is a constant source of problems for the gang as she’s prone to wondering off
The Magician: Big Ed
1) He was once a member of Utopia before being exiled
2) He was a chemist in Utopia who was exiled for making his wonder-drugs addictive
3) He has a scar from the back of his head to the base of his neck that he covers with a bandanna
The Hermit: Domino
1) He always seems like he’s scared something is following him, always on the run
2) He is one of the best gunsmiths that have ever been seen in the wastes
3) He is extremely far-sighting, unable to read and doing everything (including gunsmithing) by touch

Relevant Links

(coming soon! like, tomorrow probably)

Crunchy Bits!

• Discussion Episode 22: GenCon 2010 Wrap Up 1 Hour
• Intro Music by Oh Possum
• Outro Music “I’ll Still Be a Geek After Nobody Thinks It’s Chic” by Marian Call